Parowan, UT

Don't blink or you might just miss it on your way to Cedar City or St. George. But tucked back in this little town, is a beautiful home that was cozy and big, with lots of fun "toys" for anyone to enjoy for several days on end. It's even more fun to enjoy this place with good friends. And now that I'm sitting at this computer writing about it, I realize I need another little getaway just to sleep. I'm tired. We had such a good time enjoying the beautiful surroundings, watching the wild turkeys and deer tiptoe around the house, reading books, watching movies, playing games, laughing, eating, watching the guys play hours of pool, listening in on giddy little girls playing with Ken and Barbie, playing in the snow, enjoying sleepovers, seeing Nathan beyond thrilled to have another boy to 'hang' with, staying up way too late, riding in a Polaris, spending every single minute with those I love most. And now it's back to reality. Abigail has already had her fair share of crying this afternoon because she misses daddy. I miss him too actually. It was so nice to have his undivided attention. One morning he spent playing with all of the kids throwing them on a huge bean bag and climbing underneath it and taking them for rides. I also caught him playing barbies with Hannah one day. I think they were getting ready to go to a wedding or something. Melt my heart, I love him. She does too. A lot. I took very few pictures. Wish I had taken more, like of the yummy strawberry whopper cake Suzanna surprised me with for my birthday, or of the kids playing Twister, or the guys playing pool, or of all the wild turkeys. I certainly will think differently of Parowan the next time I drive on by.

Love and Hearts

I LOVE that we have a day set aside to recognize those we LOVE. To pay them special attention and to show our LOVE to them and to receive their LOVE as well. The kids are no dummies and know that when there's a holiday there's going to be lots of goodies and fun activities. So, my LOVE and I woke up together and made the kids heart shaped pancakes and to die for syrup to top them. Yum!

I had so much fun helping out in Hannah's class today for her Valentines Party. There are some pretty darn cute kids in her class. Now, it is a well known fact that Valentine boxes are a big deal in the public schools. I am no good with crafty stuff, so I left that task up to Hannah's pops. He's the creative one. I was so impressed with some of the boxes I saw today. Like this one:

Or this one:

And look at this little clever thing:

Too cute. Well, you haven't seen anything yet. Look at what Aaron whipped up for his little girl.

Pretty impressive huh? I laughed out loud when he showed me. Apparently they don't make Valentine Boxes in schools in California. He's never made one before and had no idea the stiff competition he's up against in our neck of the woods. I told him this would suffice for Kindergarten, but he has to step it way up for next year. Hannah didn't care. She loved her box just the same. And come to find out, her class didn't even participate in boxes. They decorated their own paper bags. I think that's a perfect idea!

There was a darling heart shaped braid in one of Hannah's classmates hair. She was ever so kind to let me take a picture of it. Especially since I tried and tried to do a heart in Hannah's hair this morning and couldn't make it work. Next year I will try this.

Hannah in action.

We continued our LOVE party with our traditional heart shaped pizza and some goodies for my LOVE.

It never disappoints! Poor Nathan spent much of his day like this,

After writing in my previous post about how grateful I am for good health, Nate was nailed with a horrible cough and high fever. He didn't get to enjoy much today, but we've got plenty of LOVE to shower him with when he's feeling better.

As much as I love these munchkins, it's my Valentine that I LOVE so much. I found the perfect quote that sums up exactly Aaron.

And he is; quite perfect for me.

Thankful Saturdays 2/11

I haven't written what I am thankful for in a while and this morning I have a slew of things I'm thankful for so I want to write them down before I forget. :o)

- I am thankful for good health. Winter time always brings sickness and we've been relatively healthy considering all the junk that seems to keep circling around the ward/school/neighborhood. That said, we've also enjoyed our small share of the sniffles and coughs to remind us to be grateful.

- I am thankful for a couple of blogs I follow closely. They share such great and uplifting experiences regarding motherhood, God, education, things that really matter. They also aren't afraid to share things that are hard too and therefore I feel I can relate to them better. In short, they inspire me to be a better mom, wife, daughter of God, and friend.

- I am thankful for sacrifice. A book I recently read ("To Destroy You is no Loss") has left a lasting impact on me. I wish everyone would read it. It is life changing.

-  I am thankful for the month of February. It's my birthday month, many of my friends birthday are this month as well. I also love to focus on things we love about those we love.

- I am thankful for the comforts of my life. For two running cars, a furnace to heat my home, plenty of clothes to keep us warm, for our food storage which I've been making good use of lately, and the freedom to make our life as good as we want.

- I am thankful for my calling in Primary. I really love working with the children of the ward. I am touched by the simple gospel that teaches profound truths to all ages.

- I am thankful to my sisters who lighten my load by taking their time out to visit with me. We laugh a lot when we do this and although we don't get together very often, I always enjoy when I'm with them. I also love the deep discussions we get into regarding all kinds of stuff.

- I am thankful this winter has been so mild. My kids have played outside nearly all winter long so far. I too have enjoyed the fresh air more than usual at this time of year.

- I am thankful for the gifts and talents God has given me to bless my family and others around me.

Abby's Prayers

Are about the sweetest thing ever! Today's prayer, on her lunch, was no exception. It went as follows:

"Dear Heavenly Father, please bless the food and please bless daddy. Bless him, bless him, bless him. And please bless that I can go poop and potty in the toilet someday so I can be a big girl and get a yummy marshmallow. And please bless that I don't cry anymore when daddy goes to work."

Oh there was more, but I can't remember all she said. It was just so cute. She's been blessing her daddy a lot lately. Aaron works just 14 steps away, but Abigail cries most days that he goes down to work. She's trying to be so brave and not cry these days. I think her prayers are helping her. Sweet little thing.

Fresh Eggs and Life; both in the present and in my belly.

It's like Christmas every day when the kids go out to find out how many eggs the chickens laid.  We average 3-4 a day. Pepper just started laying the green ones and we think they are pretty cool. (FYI: they taste exactly the same as the brown in case you were wondering). 

In all of my near 33 years on this earth, I have never seen a winter like this in Utah. The kids were outside this afternoon riding bikes and playing. No coats, just jackets. It makes me happy, but also nervous. I so am looking forward to having my baby in the warmer months, but are we being fooled and will we be wearing coats in June instead? Please no.

My belly is getting big. Like really big. I just feel big all over and I still have 4 more months to just get bigger. My eating habits have officially gone to the toilet. I crave chocolate and eat it whenever and wherever I can. Aaron still tells me I'm beautiful. I believe him when he says it. I don't believe anyone else who says it. They are lying. I have been feeling the baby move a lot lately. The first movements always catch me off guard as it feels like such a flutter and feels so funny. I have a constant itch, the size of a quarter on my growing belly. I could itch it raw. It's the strangest thing ever. I have kept my house in better "order" during my pregnancy than just about any time that I've owned a house. I find this very peculiar, but am loving an orderly home. The bathrooms remain just barely beyond embarrassment however.

Abigail is no closer to pooping in the toilet than she was a year ago. Poor girl has no clue how to push and this mom has no clue how to teach her. It just seems so obvious to me, but clearly it's not. She continues to dance around the house on her tippy toes and asks to wear a skirt every day. I'm happy to oblige most of the time because she is adorable in those little skirts. She's catching on to the reading bug and we can find her everyday "reading" to herself. It makes me happy.

Hannah scored a 3 in her kindergarten reading test. The expectation is a one, the teachers would like to see the students at a 2, and Hannah is at a level 3. I'm so happy she loves to read. She is thriving in school even though she called home last week and said she was sick. Guess who wasn't sick? Not sure what that was all about, but I guess there were times that I just wanted to come home and be with my mom too when I was in school. She is also loving her hole in her bottom smile. She keeps trying to make more teeth wiggle. We keep begging her not to force them loose. I keep thinking she can't possibly get any more beautiful. She keeps getting more beautiful though. I keep telling her it's nice to be pretty, but it's more important to be nice. I really hope that sinks in once she realizes what a little doll she is.

Nathan is really excited for a brother. He now tells everyone that I'm having a boy. I think he gets it and hope these two will be buddies. He's completely enamoured with his Lego's lately. Aaron makes him the coolest jets, boats, planes, helicopters, and motorcycles ever! It's no wonder that he can be found for hours on end playing with them.

Life just keeps moving forward. I'm still loving the new year and the goals that go along with a new year. Aaron and I are at such a good place in so many areas of our life. There's always things we can do better, but we are figuring out, better than ever, just how to balance our life. Feels so good. Hoping it lasts a long, long time. Well, forever really.

Expressing Ones Self

Sometimes I wish I could just understand why my kids do they things they do, say the things they say, behave the way they are behaving. As they are growing, so is their "way" of expressing themselves. Hannah expresses herself best through coloring pictures. This is one of her recent ones to me.

I have files full of her drawings. She's far more talented than I was at her age and has a real love for this way of expressing herself. This is one she did just after daddy/donuts day at school a while back. Clearly this was a favorite day of hers.

I thought is was so cute how she even drew her daddy reading her a book. This is a great outlet for her. She draws when she's sad, when she's made someone mad, to show her love. Over the Christmas break she colored a picture for every kid in her class. Her teacher has received many, all of her friends have been adorned with her art. She colors pictures for her grandma's and Aunts. Point is, this is what she loves to do and it's the best way shes' found to express her feelings to others.

Nathan is still trying to find his way of expressing himself. (Aren't we all sometimes?) Poor kid struggles with expression. Although he's dabbled in the arts, it's not nearly a passion for him like it is for Hannah. It's so easy for me to tell Hannah to spend some time coloring if she needs to 'cool down' a bit. It's an instant outlet for her. Nathan is more aggressive. Maybe that's more natural since he's a boy. Lately he's been struggling and is frustrated. His way of dealing with it is to tease, yell, talk back, cry, or anything that can receive the quickest attention. He's the middle child and there is something to be said about that. There are a couple things I've learned that calm him down. Movies, music, and a new find, Lego's. He's a little young for musical instruction I think, but he sure loves when I turn the music on and really can get the moves on. He's like his daddy and LOVES movies. I'm not always a fan of plugging my kids in front of the TV, but I do know this is something he really enjoys so we compromise. He recently was rewarded with a set of Aaron's childhood Lego's. He LOVES them and I've found him many times playing quietly in his room with this beloved set. Time will tell what Nathan's "thing" is.  Patience isn't one of my strengths and raising children is definitely a crash course on learning patience, so we'll continue to take it one day at a time.

Abigail looks to be headed down a similar road as Nate. She's easily frustrated, can have a bit of a temper, which should also come as no surprise since she positively adores Nathan and pretty much does whatever he does. That said, she is my best child with playing by herself. Her little imagination isn't really all that little.  I too think music will play a role in her "outlet for expression". She loves to dance and sing.

Who knows. Maybe one of them will love to write and be able to express themselves beautifully through words. Aaron is great with words. Whatever it is, I hope it's uplifting and beneficial. That is might bless their lives and maybe the lives of others too.

Home Bound

It's no secret that I love being home. Love to stay in my pj's. Love to not feel rushed. Love to accomplish cleaning or cooking in my home. etc. I Do NOT love to be home and be sick. And that's what it's been like here lately. Poor Hannah woke Sunday morning with a fever and HUGE tonsils. Again.
She's been home with me the last two days from school as well. I really like having her here. She's such a good helper and plays with her siblings. I've been so grateful for that since I too am sick. Head cold to the 9th degree. I'm walking around these days with tissues in every pocket, hair a complete mess, slippers on, lots of herbal tea, and my humidifier going non stop in my bedroom. So far, it's not working, but somehow it mentally makes me believe I'm getting better. Feast your eyes on this beauty.

 If a head cold isn't bad enough, I've been suffering from insomnia. These two combinations have not been a good thing for me, or any of us in our house. When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Unisom has saved my life the last two nights. I am so grateful. At least I'm no longer walking around with a pounding headache from the lack of sleep. I will push forward through this darn head cold.

Hannah has been to see an Ears, Nose, and Throat doctor and has a scheduled appointment to have her tonsils removed soon. She however did not have strep, just outrageously large tonsils. So, she is happy to go back to school today, mainly because she lost her first tooth last night. It's been loose for a few days and last night she just pulled it out all by herself and came running in to show me. I missed her pulling it out. She didn't even know her mouth was full of blood. She's waited a long time for this special day and was so excited it finally had come. She looks pretty cute sticking her tongue through that hole. Goodbye all baby teeth smile that I adore. Let the awkward years begin.

It's a BOY!

We thought so all along. Or rather, Hannah knew it was a boy long before we did. A few days before we told the kids we were having another baby, she came to me and said she had a dream that I was going to have a baby boy and that his name is Joe. Aaron and I looked at each other accusingly, sure that the other had slipped in front of the kids. But nope, she really did have this dream all on her own. So yesterday we weren't too surprised when we could see (very clear mind you) that this little one is a boy. Boy names have always been a struggle for us, but since Hannah already knows that his name is Joe, that is going to make it much easier. We are very excited to meet Joseph in June. Apparently Hannah is acquainted with her little brother already.

5 months pregnant

I don't want to forget ....

the things my kids say. Problem is, I forget all the time the hilarious or darling or even naughty (but still funny) things they say all the time. It's my goal to write them down so I won't forget, (and so I can keep myself in check). 

The things that come out of Hannah's mouth is both fortunately and unfortunately a tell all on my parenting. She mimics me almost perfectly. It is both frightening and flattering. She's been caught saying things like, "You are so frustrating", "this is ridiculous", "I am so done with you". On a more positive note, I did walk in on her the other night before she was going to bed "reading" her book of Mormon. She can't read it, but she told me that she "reads" it every night because she knows it's true.
She's also become quite the poser for the camera as of late.

Nathan is a crack up all around. He's also like a sponge and is taking everything in. A few weeks ago I shared my testimony in our church service, and like always, got a little emotional sharing my feelings. When I came to sit back down with my family Nathan asked me why I was crying. When I told him I wasn't sad, but that I was feeling the spirit and I often cry when I feel the spirit, I could tell he was really thinking about that. Well, guess who's feeling the spirit a lot lately? Yep, Nathan. Out of the blue he'll come to me with a big grin on his face and say, "mom, I'm feeling the spirit" and apparently even in preschool he'll raise his hand and announce that he's 'feeling the spirit'. I get a kick out of him every time he says it, but grateful that he wants to be more sensitive to the spirit. His prayers are also a little interesting. For months he's been saying "thank you that Jesus will come down again and that I can see him". He's been asking a lot when He'll come again. I guess he's a little anxious.

Abigail is a laugh a minute and darn it if I don't write what she says down because it's just funny stuff. Her prayers are kinda comical as well. I'm telling ya, kids think of the darndest things. Her prayer she offered this morning for our family was all about how she won't cry when daddy goes down stairs to work and how mommy will keep her safe. She continued on with this subject for what seemed like several minutes. She loves her daddy and doesn't like him to go to work. Ever.
On Fridays we go to Hannah's school to volunteer for a little bit. It's always fun and she ALWAYS enjoys it. Today we snuck away after we were done for a quick ice cream at Thanksgiving Point. Anything that tastes good to Abigail is D-licious, with a strong capital D. She is Delicious, and Darling, and Delectable. Her face eating ice cream says it all.

New I-phone pictures

My i-Phone camera has taken the place of my normal, point and shoot camera. It's not as good, but it sure is convenient since I usually always have it with me. Here's some of the few since Christmas. Complete randomness.

 Hours of fun chasing and playing with the chickens.

 Nate's jeep - endless fun

 Me

 Pooped out

 Hannah's plethora of barbies

 Sweet sisters

 My disgusting windows - horrible wind storm made all my windows like this and I'm too big a wimp to go battle the cold to clean them. Disgusting huh?

 Toasting dad on his 73rd birthday!

 For the love of books

 Divine key lime pie for Family Home Evening

 Bath/Play time

Today

I had two unexpected visitors this morning. It's always nice to have a surprise visit. One was from my mom and the other from Suzanna. You'd think with my mom living a mile away we'd see each other all the time. Really, maybe once a week, but more often it's like every other week or sometimes longer. Suzanna was a true surprise, but one I always enjoy as well. However, I was still in my pajamas, just wrapping up our morning devotional with the kids and now it's almost 12:30 and I'm still in my pajamas. At this point, should I just stay in them the rest of the day? Just kidding, I will shower here soon. I'm so grateful that I'm comfortable in my pj's in front of them. I'm such a routine type person and my schedule was thrown off this morning. I didn't mind so much though. There conversations were stimulating and it's nice to know there are people out there who love me and are thinking of me. I need that embrace sometimes. Don't we all? It made me think of how very little I do that for others. I know certain friends/family who are struggling and yet I do very little to reach out, and for that I am a little sad this morning. I get so comfortable with how I run things in our home, and I don't typically like that comfort to be interrupted, but then I think of how happy it made me feel to have them stop in to see me. Such a small act of service that really perked me up! So, I'm going to start fresh and look for ways to be thinking of others. Ways I can lift them.

Oh Heavens!

Abigail is my most mishievious child by far! If there's trouble, she's in it for sure. I have no doubt that this was her plan all along and that sweet Ellie was totally innocent. Impossible to stay mad at, unbelievably hard to not laugh at, and the reason we don't own anything that isn't washable.

(thanks Suzanna for letting me steal these off your blog)

New Year - Goals

(I have to laugh that I wrote about simplicity and home school in the same post.) - written much later in the afternoon.

No, I'm not going to divulge my new years goals, but I have them rest assured. I kept things simple this year. Simplicity is my word for the year. With a little one joining our family in June (the gender will be revealed in two weeks. I'm a little excited!) I just want home life to remain structural, so therefore simple is necessary for this mama. Anyway, I digress, my secret wish and I dare say, goal is.....drum roll please.....to Homeschool my kids. There I said it. I've been stewing over the idea for nearly a year now. I've not overcome some of my insecurities about it, but I so badly want to. I read all I can regarding it, I've joined a homeshooling network, I pour hours into blogs of homeschooling and read in awe at how they do it. Their kids are bright, capable, social, musical, polite, respectful,  faithful children. I've spent time on video chat with moms I know who home school and asked them how I do this? Can I do it? Will it bless my children's lives? Will it ruin their lives? Will it ruin mine? This is serious stuff people and I must know! Without fail, their responses have been the same. Just take the leap. Ba! it scares me though, but maybe this is the year I'll overcome my fear and take the leap I need to. Aaron and I have already decided to hold Nathan back, not because he isn't doing well in preschool because he is. I can't believe how well in all honesty. But he's little, he's the youngest, and this little boy needs his mama just a little bit longer.

Now, what do I do about Hannah. This girl LOVES going to school everyday. She is a social bug if there ever was one. She thrives off the challenges she's given in school. She has a crush on every boy in her class. She excelles at her school work and she loves to do it. I want to keep her home, but I'm not sure it's the best thing for her. I've been looking into other schools for her. There's a Chinese immersion school where she would study in English part of the day and Chinese the second half. It interests me, but I don't know enough about it to make a conclusive decision. I want to visit the school and see what it's like before we decide. My greatest hope is that she sees what we are doing here at home and she wants to be with us more.

So there you have it. I feel like I've come out of the closet now that I've finally put this out for all to read. I know the opinions of some regarding home school and boy have they been quick to share it with me....it's not usually in favor of it either. I also know what gnaws at my heart, and this is it. So, can I really do it? Can I provide a better education than I believe the public school system can? Do I have the patience for this? Am I willing to sacrifice so much of my time for these, my offspring? Absolutely! That's the one thing I'm most sure of. Will I be able to balance public school for Hannah and home school my others, while still volunteering over there? Because if she stays, the only way I can feel really good about it is if I'm in that school with her. Is this all too overbearing? Probably. I'm grateful I don't have to decide all of this today. We have six more months until school is out, so we plunge forward. Take one day at a time. I'll continue to stew over this in the meantime. I'll continue to read like a mad woman and talk with as many as I can about the home school experience. I'm sure I'll feel no different than I do right now. But we'll see. In the meantime, look at these two brunette beauties!

(Hannah and Addison Troxel - Age 6. A budding new friendship)