Transformation

I spent the weekend at a women's retreat. I've never done a "women's retreat" mainly because I've never thought they were a good thing to get involved in. That, and I'd much prefer to spend my time with Aaron than any other person, and that's the truth. But when the mother's of the Family Leadership Academy wanted to have an overnight retreat to discuss homeschooling and have tremendous speakers come and inspire us, I was all over it! Fortunately, so was Aaron.

Here's the thing. Truth is truth. No matter if you're talking about God, spiritual matters, politics, education, or anything. If it's true, the Spirit can and will bear testimony of all things that are true. This last weekend I felt the Spirit so many times. Things that absolutely rang true with my spirit. It was another confirmation that I'm on the right track with my kids. This IS what Heavenly Father would have me do at this time. I became so keenly aware that He is aware of me and my children personally and He will help me on this journey. It was powerful and inspiring.

Something is happening to me. I'm transforming. (some might be laughing right now and be thinking, "how can you transform any more"?) There's an awakening that's taking place. I feel overwhelmed by it sometimes. I don't feel that I have enough hours in the day to accomplish all that I desire for me personally, let alone my children. AND...I'm about to add to the beauty with another child. To be frank and honest, not every day is so good. I'm thrilled to admit that I really have not had a single day of regret that I've kept my children home. There hasn't been one day that I wish they could just go to school for the day so I could have "me" time. I'm grateful for this. But, there have been days that I've gotten frustrated to the point of causing my children tears. I hate those days. I feel terrible on those days. After all, I'm learning right along with them how to teach them best and what really is "best" for us as a family.

But then I have nights like tonight where Nathan offers a family prayer and thanks Heavenly Father for me. Me! and tells Him how much he loves me. Or Hannah wraps her little arms around me at bedtime and says, "Mom, I'm so grateful you're my mom". Humbled is all I can say.

I know this path is not for everyone. I know there are some who think I must be crazy to think I can offer my kids more at home than they can receive in public school. I do not think public school is horrible. There are incredible teachers in public school. I had some. But times are changing. I do want something more for my kids than I think they can receive there. So let the transformation on us all continue!