Book Club

The much anticipated night to discuss "Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother" was last night. Boy oh boy, it was not disappointing! We had a record attendance and the night will go down in history as our very lives were at risk when my ceiling fan decided to wig out and drop, while in full mode, to the floor. It was exciting to say the least. Katie Hellewell saved us all and caught the fan (it had stopped spinning before it fell so no one was hurt). Crazy! So we carried on with only the light from the kitchen and a little lamp. Kind of set the mood really. When I chose this book a couple months ago someone said, "you would choose a book that is so controversial". I had to laugh at that. I didn't intend to be controversial, but some know that I don't hesitate to offer my voice, especially if I feel strongly about it. I simply chose this book because I thought it would be an interesting read and a great discussion. And I was right. Motherhood can be a touchy subject to discuss, especially when one is in it full force. There were lots of opinions of the book, and I think for the most part, all of us were on the same page. There were moments where the level of excitement  over one of her parenting tactics, got pretty intense. She is a mother of force, no choice, idle threats, little to no affection, and unrealistic expectations. That said, I couldn't help but to agree with a few of her thoughts, such as this one, "Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't." That really rang true to me.

I think we could push our kids a little more than we do. I think we could expect a little more of our kids than we do. I think we could provide healthy situations for our children that will help them to grow and stretch a little more than we do. And I think we can expect our children to show and be respectful. The discussion was summed up with the thought that there really needs to be a balance. A moderation of all things. What Amy Chua lacked was balance.....in a really bad way. She was so extreme and being extreme in either direction can be a great mix for parenting failure.

I think it's fair to say that I am a bit of a tiger mother. I want to push my kids a little out of their comfort zone, so they can reach their potential. I think my own mom was the best kind of tiger mom out there. She was kind and loving, but she wasn't always willing to come to my rescue. She would not always pull  me out of situations that at the time, I wish she would have. But I grew from those experiences and learned how to stick up for myself. Man alive though I could not understand why she would not come to my aid and be my voice to defend me, but what I realize now is that she did defend me. She was and is the world's BEST listener. She taught me to turn the other cheek or to stick up for myself if necessary and now I'm forever grateful for her. And I know she would have come to my aid had there been a real necessary need.  Honestly, I think my parents had a great balance raising us and now that I'm in the thick of it, I don't know how they did it. Actually I do. They were on their knees often, praying for guidance and without a doubt, they were lead to do what was right for each of us individually.

Ok, this is long enough. It was a book worth reading.....I thought anyway, and I think most thought so as well.