No one told me

No one told me that watching Abigail dance would be the very cutest thing in the world!

No one told me that my kids imagination would be down right hilarious! (Here they are jumping into a pool where they are nearly drowing, all the while the theatrical performance was quite captivating and totally believable that I nearly jumped in after them. There was no water in the tub.)

No one told me that at 7 years old she would say "Wyatt has fallen in love with me, and I can't do anything about it."

No one told me that Scheels has the very coolest fish tank!

No one told me that Joe would be the happiest baby on earth despite his lack of a good nights, full sleep every.single.night.

No one told me that my heart would burst in a million different ways, sometimes with fear, sometimes with concern, sometimes with frustrations, and always with deep love for these little people I get to forever call mine.

Snowy Day

Today took me back to my childhood in so many ways. First of all, it snowed all day. We got at least a foot of snow just today. Crazy! That is so how it was when I was a child. I said, to heck with my no sugar bet and made chocolate chip cookies and homemade bread. It just had to be done. Plus, I was ornery all day. I do not know what my deal is lately. I really do not, but good golly miss molly, do not come near me or you may very well get your head bit off. Even sweet Abby said to me today, "wo, you're really mad". Yes deary, I was. Just do what I say and no one will get hurt. Or yelled at.

I don't like feeling the way I've been feeling lately. Maybe its just the winter time blues. Maybe its the monotonous duties of a mother, maybe its the sleep I'm getting or the lack thereof. Or maybe it's a combination of all three. Probably that one. Whatever it is, this funk is no fun for anyone. So I made up my mind to submerse myself into the Lord's good words to boost me up! Have you ever noticed though when you make a decision that inevitably will draw you closer to Christ, you lose all desire, or you're just too tired, or you have a million interruptions? It's kinda like making plans to attend the temple and then something just stops you from going. Yep, that's how it always seems to be. So, I've spent more time on my knees than usual and I have to think that Heavenly Father is pleased to hear from me more often than He usually does. I like to think He's saying to me, "Melissa, you're doing a good job. Keep going. You're children are learning wonderful things and I thank you for your effort to teach them of Me." I wonder too if He might say, "please don't be so hard on them. They are children and need your nurturing that I've blessed women with." Have you ever thought of the Family Proclamation and read the words, "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." Interesting don't you think that the Lord would choose the word "nurture" for us. I can think of a million words for mothers responsibilities, but nurture is really all encompassing don't you think? Anyway, I digress. I'm studying (or attempting to study) the characters of Christ. If I want to be like Him and teach my children of Him, I really need to know how and who He was. I know His stories from the scriptures, but there is so much more to learn of Him than just His stories.  And today I could have really used understanding His patience with this particular child.

Oh how I love him, but oh how he tries me some days. 

A little about me.

So there's this silly little game going around Instagram lately where you get tagged and then you get to tell 5 things about yourself that others may not know about you. Because some of these were a surprise to even Aaron, I thought I'd write them for my posterity....with the explanations which I didn't give on Instagram.

1) I was on the Seminary Council my senior year of high school. I had to laugh because Aaron didn't know this and didn't know what it was either. I told him it was kinda like student council, but for the church and you don't run for it, you're called to it. Anyway, it was a total blast and I learned so much and made great friends.
2) I was proposed to 5 times, but engaged only once. Yep, totally true and totally a shocker I know! However, they weren't all with rings (thank goodness). The first one was when I was 19. We had only been dating for two weeks at Ricks College. He was a great guy, but SUPER anxious to get married and scared the living day lights out of me! When he told me his intentions were marriage with me, I gave him the hiatus and wished him luck. Left him crying in his car. Wow! The second was to a guy I was great friends with for a long time first. When I finally figured out that I really did care a great deal for him, I had already decided to serve a mission. He was determined to wait for me. He did give me a ring, but more of a promise ring. We wrote each other most of my mission until I got cold feet, all the way in Holland! I wrote him off but it ended  officially when I got home. It was a true heart break for us both. The third I didn't see coming at all! When I got home from my mission, I received flowers and a nice gift from a guy I shared the gospel with on my mission. I never once thought he had feelings for me. He wrote me a letter saying that he had received an answer in the temple that I was to marry him. Um, hello? This one really made me sad because he was a new convert, his testimony still fragile, but he took the decline well and I've always hoped he's remained true to the faith. We never talked again. The fourth guy was another good friend. I met him before my mission where we worked together on a night crew at the Home Depot. He was a Mormon, but not active. He was a great friend and we had lots of fun together. When I got home from my mission our friendship continued until he too let me know his feelings for me and that his intentions were also of marriage. He was not worthy to marry in the temple and I was not willing to compromise that most important choice for me. We went our separate ways. Then the 5th and final proposal was to the man worth waiting for! He was all that the others were and so much more! He was the complete package I was looking for. That's why the next thing will not come as such a shock!
3) After mine and Aaron's second date we were engaged and married 6 weeks later! (Why wait when you've found Mr. Right?)
4) I've competed in two triathlons. Both kicked my rear end!
5) I have an irrational fear of the ocean.

Kinda fun. Kinda dumb. But there it is nonetheless.

Perspective

Yesterday I was failing...today I have perspective. I'm emotional, most likely due to my cycle, but lets chock it up to gratitude instead. During our little family devotional in the morning yesterday I read the scripture out of the Book of Mormon in 2 Nephi 1:20 that says, "And he hath said that: Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land; but inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from my presence."

We discussed this scripture and how it might apply to us. We talked about the importance of making good choices such as, choosing to be kind, to share, to be obedient to mom & dad, etc. Then we talked about how when we do those things we are choosing to follow Jesus and we feel happy and we will be able to live with him again someday. But when we don't do those things, but do the opposite of those things, then we are not following Jesus and we aren't as happy. All day they really tried hard to choose the right. It was so darling to see them stop in their tracks when they were about to lash out at each other and quickly find a softer/nicer way to talk. They weren't perfect, (who is?) but they were trying and I was so happy that things seemed to click for them. After all, isn't that what life is all about? Try and try again? Today, they are still trying to follow their ways of yesterday. So maybe, just maybe I'm not failing after all. And maybe, I'm learning as well.

His newest trick. He arches his back and looks way back.

Serving their daddy: rubbing his feet and head, tickling his back and arms and legs. I think he might have fallen asleep.

Failing

I'm failing. Motherhood is giving me a good kick in the rear end right now. And not just motherhood, but my ability to do good is failing. Ugh. Discouragement is taking a deep hold on my heart lately. I had one day this past week that I couldn't have a positive thought to save my life! "Ah! are those boogers on the wall"? Scream! Scream! Scream! After days, maybe even weeks, of 3 of my children having no potty accidents, I now have a laundry room, yet again, of poopy underwear and it's enough to push me right over the edge! Aaron and I have pleaded, threatened, and begged the kids to sit like normal people on our couch. Today, Hannah chose not to follow that severe council and flipped her legs up and knocked the lamp on the floor, ending in the result of millions of tiny shards of glass everywhere.

I can't find time to serve those around me like I would like to. I can barely scrape enough time to read and study out of the scriptures. I find myself longing for some peace and quiet, or maybe even a good hardy cry, or at the very least a GIANT bowl of ice cream, but even there I am denied because of a stupid no sugar bet until April.

And to top it all off, after knowing, with complete assurity that I should home school my kids in the fall, I had a doozy of a day where all I could think of was, "I've completely LOST my mind!" "There is no way in the world I can do this and do a good job". "I'm going to ruin their life by doing this". "They are going to turn out weird, or maybe even  looked down upon by their peers in our own neighborhood." And on and on and on it went.

I often will joke by saying, "Satan is SUCH a weenie". All joking aside, he is much much more than that. He is real. Very real. And I know that the week I've had of discouragement was nothing more than the father of all lies aiming to thwart my mission, which I know to be the most important and sacred of any on the earth. It would be so easy to give in to his lies. To believe that I'm not capable of raising my children to greatness. That I will ruin them by teaching them myself. That someone else could do a much better job teaching them than I ever could. Oh believe me, I've actually wanted to believe it and don't deny that I may still have many days ahead where I may in fact believe it. But then, just when I felt the most discouraged I just "happened" upon this article. Read it. Study it. Soak it in. Almost instantly those feelings of doubt were gone. I knew, once again that I'm not in this alone. Someone much more powerful than Satan ever will be, wants me to succeed, and with Him, I will.

Fire Burning Eyes

I'm so tired lately. Joe is sleeping better (well not really, but my ear plugs are helping me to sleep a little better). Poor baby just can't seem to figure the whole sleeping thing out to save his life! or mine for that matter! Most days my eyes feel like they are on fire and are begging me to allow them to close. Somehow though, actually I know exactly how....it's completely divine intervention that is buoying me up to carry on. It's a miracle if you ask me.

January so far has been a whirlwind and I'm not sure why. Let's see...the highlight I think was Aaron flew to Disneyland for the day with his company. Yep, Clark Ivory of Ivory Homes flew the entire company to Disneyland just for the day. Lucky ducks! Kids were sad....and so was I; just a tad. Someday. Someday.

Otherwise, this month has been full of ridiculous amounts of pictures of this adorable baby.

And cleaning up his messes. Already, at 7 months. I'm in trouble.

We are surviving the bitter cold we've had this winter, and unbelievable static, and picking our nose...well, at least Abby is.

I cut Nathan's hair and did a HORRIBLE job! So glad he's 5 and doesn't care yet. (this picture does not do it justice).

Witnessed a calf being born on the way to the grocery store. Thought is was so cool. Poor cow was born on a freezing, cold day. Kids didn't think it was nearly as cool as I did.

We were the coolest parents for one day when we set our camping tent up in our living room and watched a movie.

We are seeing the future of a moody teen-age daughter when at 7 years old she's making signs on her door so we won't come in because she was mad about something.

Abigail is the most anxious child to learn to read. Wish her brother shared half her enthusiasm.

We could work on food manners a bit however.

Time is flying by. Can't believe January is half over.

I stole this poem off a blog I like to read. This is what I'm aiming for in this here, 'me home.

Home

BY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST

It takes a heap o’ livin’ in a house t’ make it home,

A heap o’ sun an’ shadder, an’ ye sometimes have t’ roam

Afore ye really ’preciate the things ye lef’ behind,

An’ hunger fer ’em somehow, with ’em allus on yer mind.

It don’t make any differunce how rich ye get t’ be,

How much yer chairs an’ tables cost, how great yer luxury;

It ain’t home t’ ye, though it be the palace of a king,

Until somehow yer soul is sort o’ wrapped round everything.

Home ain’t a place that gold can buy or get up in a minute;

Afore it’s home there’s got t’ be a heap o’ livin’ in it;

Within the walls there’s got t’ be some babies born, and then

Right there ye’ve got t’ bring ‘em up t’ women good, an’ men;

And gradjerly, as time goes on, ye find ye wouldn’t part

With anything they ever used—they’ve grown into yer heart:

The old high chairs, the playthings, too, the little shoes they wore

Ye hoard; an’ if ye could ye’d keep the thumbmarks on the door.

Ye’ve got t’ weep t’ make it home, ye’ve got t’ sit an’ sigh

An’ watch beside a loved one’s bed, an’ know that Death is nigh;

An’ in the stillness o’ the night t’ see Death’s angel come,

An’ close the eyes o’ her that smiled, an’ leave her sweet voice dumb.

Fer these are scenes that grip the heart, an’ when yer tears are dried,

Ye find the home is dearer than it was, an’ sanctified;

An’ tuggin’ at ye always are the pleasant memories

O’ her that was an’ is no more—ye can’t escape from these.

Ye’ve got t’ sing an’ dance fer years, ye’ve got t’ romp an’ play,

An’ learn t’ love the things ye have by usin’ ’em each day;

Even the roses ’round the porch must blossom year by year

Afore they ’come a part o’ ye, suggestin’ someone dear

Who used t’ love ’em long ago, an’ trained ’em jes’ t’ run

The way they do, so’s they would get the early mornin’ sun;

Ye’ve got t’ love each brick an’ stone from cellar up t’ dome:

It takes a heap o’ livin’ in a house t’ make it home.

Why I love having a baby named Joe.

I have to admit, I didn't LOVE his name at first. (isn't that awful to admit?) I loved that Hannah named him, but I had a hard time imagining me calling an infant Joe. Seems so old. BUT, it is so fun to say things like; "Joe Joe, whad'a know,  the more you eat the more you grow!" or "Oh Joe, I love you so!" or "Let's go baby Joe". I think there's a couple more I say too, just can't think of them right now.

Things I'm loving about Joe at 7 months:
-Those big beautiful baby blues!
-He's finally sleeping a little better. Like only waking once a night instead of 3 or 4 times a night.
-He's talk, talk, talking and it's so darn cute!
-He can pull his pacifier in and out of his mouth.
-He continues to love his bath.

-He loves to sit up all by himself now.
-He still gives the best open mouthed kisses!
-Loves to eat rice cereal and hates store bought baby food.
-He's a master at his little play gym. He can purposely make all things work as they should.

Adored! Adored! Adored!!!

Remembering the Best of 2012

JANUARY

Hannah lost her first tooth

I found out we were having another boy!

  

FEBRUARY

Trip to Parowan with friends

I turn 33

MARCH

Spending one day at Farm Country in shorts and t-shirts

and the next sledding in our back yard.

APRIL

 Our Spring Break get-a-way

MAY

Aaron turn 37

Baby Joe surprises us and arrives on the last day of May

 JUNE

Nathan turns 5

JULY

Family Summer Fun

Twin cousins born

AUGUST

Celebrated 9 years of marriage!

Visiting cousins in Idaho

SEPTEMBER

My parents celebrate 50 years of marriage and we celebrate!

Joe is blessed and I feel incredibly BLESSED!

OCTOBER

So many Halloween Parties

NOVEMBER

Enjoyed a Pilgrims and Indians feast

Hannah turns 7

DECEMBER

Abby turns 4

We visited family in California and miss them like crazy!

Had an unforgettable Christmas and enjoyed the magic of Christmas with children.

That is a wrap on 2012. I'm so grateful for this blog to document our life. I know my blog appears that all is always rosy in our lives, and I'm so glad that for the most part it is, but we've had our share of concerns as well in 2012 with 3 career changes, and challenges with finances at times. I feel so blessed that those were are only hiccups and recognize that many others struggled much more than we did. It was a pleasure to assist others in 2012 and to also reflect on our own habits that we could improve on. Since we are a goal setting family we look forward to 2013 being a year to help others, strengthen our family relationships, get out of debt once and for all!, draw closer to our Savior by serving others, and improve our talents which bring us happiness. Hooray for 2013!