Nathan is 5

I've kinda felt bad knowing that I wasn't going to be up for throwing Nathan a birthday party this year. I think he would have enjoyed it more this year than he did last. But alas, I couldn't bring myself to have a house full of kiddos with my newborn.

Nathan has been more aware of this birthday than any before. Maybe because he celebrated it in preschool so for the longest time he thought he already has his birthday and that he was already 5. Or it might be because he knew he was going to have a new brother right around his birthday. Whatever it was, it has been fun to see his excitement for his special day. And special day it was when he was born. I will never forget when the nurse placed him in my arms. Like my other children, I fell instantly in love, but for some reason, I dare say, it was stronger with Nathan.  His delivery was so calm and I was calm. But enough about his birth. On with what I love about this 5 year old of mine.

#1 - Your Eyes! They are big, expressive, deep, and beautiful. I love to look into your eyes.

#2 - Your moves! No body can bust a move like you can. I turn the music on and the rhythm just flows bud. You know how to bust a move and I love it!

#3 - Your laugh! oh heavens, if I could bottle it I would. It is so contagious.

#4 - That you are all boy! Anything and everything that is boy stuff, you love. Dirt! Playing rough! Swords! Cars! etc.

#5 - You are determined! I absolutely LOVE to see you set your mind to something. For weeks you've been practicing whistling because you know your Aunt Suzie and Grandpa Eyre are great whistlers. It was a proud day when you came running in to show us that you've learned how to whistle. Same goes for snapping. You've got it down. I'm also so impressed with your Lego abilities. You can build just about anything and sometimes I'm amazed what you've built all on your own.

Nate's Favorites at 5:

Color: Blue

Movie: The Incredibles

Food: Pizza

Hero: Nephi in the Book of Mormon

Song: Nephi's Courage

Game: Operation

Comfort: still his blankie

Activity: Swimming

 

 Nathan loved all of his gifts. Hannah even wrapped one of his old toys and he was thrilled to open it. Guess we know what we'll be giving him next year for his birthday.

 His big gift was a new bike. LOVED his expressions when we brought it out.

Happy birthday sweet boy! We sure love you!





Joseph Stephen Lombardo

(written while in the hospital)
I'm in the hospital tonight. It's just after one a.m. I'm breathing a
sigh of great relief that my baby Joe is here and that he's healthy.
He is positively perfect!

After being so sick with food poisoning the last few days, I noticed
yesterday that I couldn't remember when I felt Joe last. This week has
been busy with end of school stuff that has kept my mind so occupied I
just hadn't paid much attention to my body. I had such an overwhelming
feeling of concern come over me this afternoon to do what I could to
have Joe move, but all my attempts were in vain and I felt nothing.
Aaron happened to call at this very moment and I didn't want to cause
any concern, but when he asked how I was feeling I couldn't hide my
fears and told him how concerned I was. He came right home and told me
to call my doctor. A nurse called me back just shortly after Aaron
walked in the door. I wanted to come across calm to her but my
calmness was shattered when she said I needed to go to labor and
delivery immediately since I couldn't remember the last time I had
felt my baby. I broke down in tears and just then my sister Susan
knocked on the door making it possible for us to literally leave right
then. Aaron grabbed my hand on the way to the hospital and we drove in
silence. It was an agonizing drive as I feared the worst. I was in
tears the whole time and I know Aaron was feeling equally afraid. I
kept praying that all would be well.

Once we were here at the hospital, the nurses immediately took me back to
listen for a heart beat. Joe's heart sounded loud and clear and both
Aaron and I broke into tears. I all but sobbed and laughed at the same
time.

They wanted to monitor me and my baby for an hour to make sure all was
well. Well..... all was not well. Joe's heart rate was concerning to
them and they strongly advised me to stay and be induced. My stubborn
self wanted to make sure induction was absolutely necessary. My nurse
did a great job explaining to Aaron and me why the heart rate was so
alarming and why they would not be okay sending me home. Of course the
risk of leaving out-weighed being induced but I did ask to remain
being monitored for a bit before they started me on pitocin. I was
already having regular contractions and I wanted to see if breaking my
water would get things moving on its own.  Indeed it did. The doctor
broke my water at 8:30 and the contractions increased significantly.
My water was also green which indicated a bowel movement from baby.
Another good reason he was coming tonight. Plus, the cord was wrapped
twice around his neck when he was born. I can't help but believe that
these two conditions is why I felt so strongly to call my doctor about
not feeling him, which got me to the hospital so Joe could arrive to
us safely. Many prayers of thanks were given by me this night.

 I was so shocked he was so little. Only 6lbs. 6 oz. Total laboring time was 2 hours start to finish. He was born at 10:30 pm.

I want to explain why going all natural was such a big deal to me.
I've had two epidurals and now two without any drugs. I don't think I
am more heroic or super without the drugs than I did with the drugs.
Having a baby is miraculous no matter how they get here. There were
plenty of times I thought to myself I am insane to be doing this and
full out cried in desperation for the pain to stop. But if the recovery could be fast. If I could feel comfortable relatively quick after birthing, than I wanted to try all natural again. I'm so very grateful the pain was worth it for those two hours because I hardly feel as though I just had a baby. I can hardly comprehend how one can be in such agonizing pain one moment, and almost instantaneously it is over the second you give birth. It is a complete phenomenon.

I did however choose to stay the two nights at the hospital this time
than my typical overnighter. I wanted to just soak up the quiet and
personal time with my baby Joe. I have been alone with him most of
today. I have loved the quiet one on one; smelling him, nursing him,
loving him. He is perfect. Yesterday he nursed like a champ, but he's
struggled today and I've been grateful to be here, just the two of us
to figure it out.

The kids came today as well. Hannah and Nathan have been beside themselves excited to see and hold Joe. Apparently Hannah could hardly sleep
last night because she was so excited. It was darling to see their
excitement. Hannah is going to be such a big help. I'm so grateful to
have her. Abigail was intrigued but said she didn't want to hold him.
Okie dokie missy! I think Joe is going to be quite loved at our house
and Aaron and I can both tell that we are going to have to teach our
kiddos boundaries on loving too much. Should be fun.

No rookie father here!

So one more night of just me and Joe. I'm going to relish every
moment. But I will be ready to go home tomorrow and letting Joe's
brother and sisters smother him just a tad. I'm feeling so grateful and blessed!

Graduations

Goodness gracious, I had no idea how busy life could be at the end of a school year. So happy that I was able to see both of my kids graduations. Between sickness and a hefty belly, we made it. I'm so grateful. That said, Aaron and I are probably the only two parents who think Kindergarten graduation is a little silly. But, of course we didn't want to miss it and I know it meant a lot to Hannah as well. Nate's graduation was adorable and hilarious! Those kids are such a riot to watch and Nathan was in true form. He and two other boys sang a cute little song about yelling and screaming to get attention if you're in trouble. Nathan practiced it a lot and his teacher put him in the middle because he was so good about getting all the words out and not just the screaming part. Boy oh boy, did that kid like the attention and not want to share it with the other two boys though.

 Nate enjoyed dancing as much as he did singing

 The wonderful Ms. Tecia. She is a miracle worker and Nathan adores her.

Hannah's graduation was cute too. She had such a good year in Kindergarten and I was so pleased with her progress all year long. I enjoyed volunteering each Friday and seeing her in class. She made lots of cute friends and her teacher said she was a friend to all. She really progressed in her reading and always loved when they would do any kind of craft, which was almost daily.

With 7 kindergarten classes this year, it's pretty impressive what those teachers are able to accomplish. Mrs Rico was great for Hannah. The perfect balance of sensitivity, but helped her to stretch and grow too.

I still was not on top of my game today so I regret that I didn't get any pictures of just Hannah with her teacher or with her cousin Grace, or just simply of her. She looked darling and was happy to show off some of her accomplishments this year too. I know she will miss school over the summer and some of the cute kids she made friends with.

Abby keeping it real.

I for one am looking forward to a low key summer and hope we can find enough to do to keep from boredom, but also enjoy some lazy summer days.

This Can't Be Happening

I've been up most of the night. Wish it were because of contractions, but rather a bad case of food poisoning. No one else in the family seems to have been effected so I'm pretty sure it was a cookie that is the culprit that only I ate. Darn chocolate cravings! So I've been enjoying all the pleasures of what comes along with food poisoning. Lets just say me and the toilet have been well acquainted throughout the night and early morning.

Today is Memorial Day. We are staying home, but we had some fun things planned to do around here. I'm thinking I'll spend most of the day in my bed. Bummer! Aaron was planning on setting up the tent in our backyard last night, but it got dark before he was able to set it up, so he managed to squeeze it up in the kids room which is where they are soundly sleeping all snuggled together. I bought a boat load of yummy food to make today for a fun family BBQ. Food is the LAST thing I can stomach right now.

I love this holiday. I have such fun memories of visiting my grandma's each Memorial Day and visiting Grandpa Eyre's grave with beautiful flowers. Dad would always share stories of grandpa and although I never knew him, I sure feel like I do. Some of my family will be making the trip up to Evanston today for the tradition. I hope to share with my little ones, stories of our loved ones who are no longer with us. Mainly Grandpa Lombardo. We have pictures of him around the house and Aaron speaks of him frequently, but it's days like today that I just want to hear stories. Little Joe will be given his grandfathers name as his middle name. Just because he isn't with us doesn't mean we can't be effected by him.

So happy Memorial Day! Of course, I'm grateful beyond words to those who fight for our freedoms and to those who gave the ultimate sacrifice of their life to protect mine. God bless the USA!

Patience

You know the phrase, "Patience is a virtue". Well, it's not one of mine by nature but one I work hard to become. I'm sitting here with a bowl full of ice cream that I don't really want, although it sounded good when I was dishing it up. It's pretty much all melted now. I'm trying to be patient for this little guy to come. I've been unbelievably miserable the last couple days. Last night was probably my worst nights sleep thus far. I'm so blasted tired. Poor Aaron doesn't get much sleep on my sleepless nights either and he was up at 5:00 this morning to start his day. He's so good to help make me comfortable until the kids get up. He knows the early morning is when I sleep best. My eye balls are on fire because all they want is for me to close them and drift off to dream land, but my aching back is 100x's worse the second I lay down.

I was beyond ornery yesterday. It seemed like every step I took was more effort than my body was able to put out. Therefore, I had zero, and I mean zero tolerance for any behavior issues from my children. They were never so happy when Aaron came home and promised to take them to the pool, which just opened. I'm so grateful they have him in these last few weeks of my pregnancy.

I think I've been suffering from heartburn in the pregnancy as well. I've never had heartburn before so I don't know for sure if that is what it is, but I have a constant ache in my heart area, or have this last trimester. I keep meaning to buy some tums or something, but never remember when I'm at the store. 

I can't bear the thought that little Joe might really wait until his due date to come. He's just gotta surprise us and come today, or tonight. I'd even be okay with tomorrow.

Trying to find things to keep from boredom.

The Light at the end of the Tunnel

Is it always this hard and uncomfortable at the end of pregnancy? Why is it that I can't seem to forget the whole delivery part of the process, but I sure as heck can't remember being this uncomfortable with my other pregnancy's. I'm sure I was though. I had a false alarm Friday night when I woke up at 2:00 in the morning for my middle of the night bathroom break. Contractions kicked in and at 2:30 I woke Aaron up and told him I thought I was in labor. He immediately jumped up and started collecting items for a to go bag for the hospital since we weren't prepared. We started timing the contractions and they were anywhere from 1-1/2 minutes to 2 minutes apart. Pretty good sign this baby was coming.....so we thought. I called Suz and she was at our house in less than 5 minutes. My only concern with going to the hospital right away was my contractions were hardly painful. I could talk pretty easily through them. That is NOT how it was with Abigail. So we waited to see if they would pick up in pain.. After an hour of contracting I decided I would lay down, as I was pooped, and if they continued than we'd go. Well, they dropped to every 4-1/2 to 7 minutes for another hour and then I fell fast asleep and so did my contractions. Guess it was not his time after all. I've had very little excitement since. Now I'm hoping he either comes this week, sooner rather than later, or just stays put until his due date on the 2nd. Nathan and Hannah both have their graduations next week and I don't want to miss either.

On a side note, my mom and sisters stole me away last week to Red Mango and threw my a little shower. We hardly ever go out like this which is so lame because every time we do we always say we need to do this more often. So much laughing, so much bonding, so much yummy Red Mango. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the gifts for little Joe and for my most favorite treat of Red Mango ever! And just for posterity, a picture of Nikki and me. Nikki is having twins, a boy and a girl, and will most likely have them shortly after me. We all are hoping they stay put until the first part of July.

Birthday Boy

Today is Aaron's birthday. He's 37. We have had exceptional weather here lately, but today we woke up to much cooler temperatures and pouring rain. I love it. Don't think it bothers the birthday boy one bit either.

Throughout this pregnancy my emotions have been all over the place. The first tri-mester I complained regularly that Aaron was never home. I'd burst into tears thinking he just doesn't get me at all. Vent to sisters and a close friend that I was really struggling. I look back on that time and think, "I was completely whacked!" and I mean completely. Now I'm two weeks away from having our 4th child and Aaron has been nothing short of amazing! He comes home to a messy house.....and cleans it for me. I rarely have dinner cooked anymore.....he fries up some eggs and doesn't complain. He's maintaining our yard (which is what I love to do most but can't mow the lawn anymore or work in the garden). He's quick to rub my aching back or swollen feet. He pampered me to the hilt for mother's day. He gets up with the kids at night if they wake. Pretty much, he's been super man. He carries a heavy load on his shoulders to support us and boy oh boy am I ever grateful to him for working so hard.

So what does the birthday boy want for his birthday? All he wants is time with me. Just me. A place where we can talk, laugh, dream, connect. So where am I taking him? To Texas Road House of course! and then to see the Avengers. I can't wait. I have all kinds of things to share with him on our little date. I am a lucky girl to call Aaron my own. How different I feel than I did nearly 8 months ago when my hormones were out of whack and I took it out on my sweetheart. (For the record, my hormones are still out of whack).

I love you Mr. Aaron Daniel Lombardo! Happy Happy Birthday!!! You make our lives so happy.

 Some of my favorite photos of Aaron - He is truly a fun guy!

 

I think he's kinda cute!

I chose Motherhood

1. I knew I was a mom when…I wake up to the faintest cry, loving dandelion bouquets, see the world in a different way.
2. I love my kids when…They are laughing. A good hardy laugh that is.
3. I love my kids even when… they push me to my very limits!
4. My kids love me even when… I make them drink green smoothies and push vegetables on them regularly.
5. Three words to describe my parenting style are…consistent, reasonable, unreasonable
6. I know it’s time to recharge when…I want to lock myself in my room for hours at a time or slam doors. It's time for some girl time at Red Mango's.
7. One of my favorite moments with my kids was… This last Spring Break. We were just together. No friends, just me and them. I LOVED it!
8. I feel most connected to my kids when… They are sitting on my lap and we read books.
9. With an extra hour in the day, I would… Sleep....yes sleep!
10. I hope my kids will remember the moment(s) we... Laugh, sing and dance together.
11. I think one of the best things about motherhood is… The opportunity to grow personally.
12. The most important thing I can share with my kids is… my love for learning.
13. My desired legacy is... for my kids not to sing "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" at my funeral. 

Watch this video. Love it!
I am a Mother 


Love that Nathan has marker all over his face just before we leave for church. Awesome!

Guilt Trip

I went on a guilt trip last Saturday. It was EXACTLY what I needed. Yes, you read that right. Just what I needed. You see, I'm loaded with guilt, but I also know I'm not the only one. I'm pretty sure motherhood comes with a pretty thick dose of guilt included. Honest mothers would agree. Perfect mothers also agree, just can't bring themselves to "join" our guilt club. So, here's what my guilt has looked like lately.

I hate playing barbies. Hate it with a passion. After changing her outfit, complete with accessories once, what more is there to do? Yes, I get that my kids can use their imagination 'till their heart is content on where Barbie is headed off, but this mama cannot. I cringe every time they come asking if I'll play barbies. And here's where the guilt comes in, I almost always say no I won't play and the look of disappointment is crushing. When I tell them what I am willing to play, the are equally disappointed since it is almost always not what they want to play.

I have a 4 year old who gets a lot of criticism and unfortunately I hold myself completely responsible for this. Because I have complained about the challenges I have with him, I have opened the door for others to share what I am doing wrong in their opinion, or I feel judged that I'm obviously doing something wrong, or worse, labeling my son as a naughty kid. Yep, guilt. It almost never makes me feel better, but is almost a guarantee to make me feel worse.

I was in Wal-Mart today and  saw two little newborn babies. Both of them crying with that teeny, tiny, adorable newborn cry. It was sweet, but my guilty conscience kicks in and I experience anxiety at the very thought that in three weeks that will be me with the sweet newborn that I struggle so much enjoying. I can't seem to think of much other than the sleepless nights that are just around the corner, the summer months where my children will be home all day and need attention and want to go to the pool every day, which will only feed my guilt since I inevitably will not be swimming with them much this summer, if at all.

I threaten my kids to go to sleep, can't figure out how to help them be better friends with each other and with others. I've spanked, said unkind things, locked them out, taken ridiculously long showers just to be alone. I worry that I don't spend enough one on one time with each of them. Wish our finances allowed all the extracurricular activities we'd love to see them in. I need to read to them more, laugh more, hug, kiss, let go, and just be more!

Now, if there's not enough guilt here to make one depressed, I don't know what would. But, I'm not depressed. (Not yet anyway. Ask me in a month, and we'll see). Even with all my guilt, somehow I kinda knew that motherhood wouldn't always be a walk in the park. I think I've always known that houses are messy, kids fight, moms yell sometimes, pancakes for dinner isn't going to kill them, and a level of guilt, unfortunately, is part of the deal. With Mother's Day two days away I want to remember that although I'm far from the perfect mom and I do suffer from guilt, I sure love being their mom and am grateful to have the title. And somehow, with all my mistakes, these three still love me.

(remembering a much more carefree, fun loving, and guilt free Melissa. Obviously before motherhood)

I'm listening to songs that touch my heart. They are about children and growing up. Today I spent the afternoon with Abigail at the doctor office. She was positively adorable! She was sucking up all the attention given her by the doctor and nurse. Her little mind was going mock 90 and I sat there in awe at her little self. I adore her in every way. We walked out of the office hand in hand, tears running down her face since she had a shot in her leg, but the sucker made it all better. Her bouncy little self brings comfort to my heart. Whenever I'm about to have another baby I always have these doubts that I could possibly love another child as much as the ones I have. Yet, I know there is room in there for more to love. I don't know how it's possible, but it is.

I don't deny that motherhood has been the hardest responsibility of any I've ever faced. I feel the weight on my shoulders each day. I pour myself into books or "clubs" that might give me an edge on figuring this out. Then I'm humbled by one of them and reminded that the answers to child rearing aren't in books or special groups (although I learn a great deal and am grateful to have those resources), but it's when I fall to my knees and beg God to help me to know my children as He knows them. Today Nathan just wanted to be with me when he was having a hard moment. I held him and then we walked hand in hand looking at flowers and gardens. Just the simplicity of that time with him will be cherished.

Hannah is about as sweet a person as they come. She is sensitive and needs constant reassurance, whether it's by words or actions, that we love her. Tonight she came inside after playing with friends and just said, "daddy, I love you", something she says often, but for some reason it resonated with me more tonight than previously. I guess it was the simple sincerity of the words. I know she meant it. And I know she believes us when we say it to her too. There is comfort in those words that fills her to the brim.

My little ones are growing up. Maybe that's why these songs I'm listening to are so sweet and so sad at the same time. I look at Hannah and she's growing, changing, and learning so quickly. I depend on her so much that sometimes I wonder if I haven't forced some of the growing a little too quickly.

Nathan has been telling me for about a week now that he's 5, which makes him so much bigger. There is no arguing with him either on this point. Ironically, because I just agree with him that he's 5 already, he has been able to gain that confidence to do things that were just.too.hard for him to do by himself when he was 4. I keep wondering if he'll be happy or mad when we actually celebrate his birthday next month.

And if I could freeze Abigail I would. She is sunshine in a bottle. I thank Heavenly Father often that He sent her to our home. I need her and He knew that I would.

So, in the words of the song, "Hourglass", "when you reach for the stars, don't forget who you are. Please don't turn around and grow up way too fast.... oh life's an hourglass. Life's an hourglass."

*Happy birthday to my wonderful mother today. So grateful to call her mom.