Valentines Day

I was low key this year. The kids made their own valentines to give to friends at school.

We sent a silly picture to dad at work to show him we love him and are always thinking of him.

We spent the day at Dance lessons and Hapkido lessons.  Fun stuff!

She was sure a happy little valentine to have us come watch her.

And I'm not sure who was more in heaven; Aaron or Nathan, that they could do Hapkido together.

We celebrated our love for each other the next night with our traditional heart pizza and chocolate fondue!

It was a horribly delicious mess!

I love this group to pieces and would run with this gang anytime, anywhere, any day! Not pictured is my love! Boy, do I love him though. So thankful for his love and friendship.

A little of this. A little of that.

Nathan is LOVING his Hapkido class. Loving!

His sisters are pretty darn impressed with the class too.

Some pictures of the crazy snow we got a couple weeks ago.

When the kids scream inside, we put them outside. We might have gone a little over board this night since it was so cold. (Don't worry, they were only out there for a second and got the message real quick that we DON'T scream inside. Don't report us).

He drives me crazy. But he also makes me laugh. And I'm partial to his crazy side.

She is the cutest ballerina.

She is getting sooo good at this reading stuff.

Hannah brought me breakfast in bed one morning. I'm a lucky girl.

A Really Fun Date

It's not often that we can escape for a whole day together. We were offered tickets to go skiing though, and we did all we could to make it possible. Oh it was so good for the heart. I love being with Aaron. It's so fun to laugh. So fun to flirt and tease each other. He kicks my bootie on the slopes and I think enjoys showing off a tad too. I don't mind. It's pretty fun to see him wiz right past me.

Wish we didn't have these lame-o sunglasses on.

I had an AWESOME fall. And by awesome, I mean scary. Could have been so bad, but thankfully it wasn't. I fell right off a small cliff and headed for a grove of trees. Don't worry, Aaron came just in time to pull his camera out to get a picture of me stuck in the snow. Sweet huh? Laughing all the way. Love him.

I'm just so thankful I didn't hit those trees.
It was a gorgeous day with little to no crowds. Heaven!

Love Affair

These two have a love affair. I've never seen Aaron so hands on with any of his babies. (not to say he loves Joe anymore than the others. I think he's finally just figured out babies is all).

Aaron showing Joe how it's done.

Joe copying to a "t".

It is so fun to see these two together.

8 Months old

My littlest stinker is growing fast! At 8 months, he's found his vocals can be quite handy when he wants something. He eats everything in sight. He's teething like crazy, but nothing has broken through yet. He's still not sleeping through the night. He's pretty attached to his mama. He's obsessed with his siblings. He stares at people a lot. He's messy. He's perfect.

Drops of Awesome

Aaron lay on the bed last night after the kids were in bed and looked, sad, tired, distraught. And before I could ask if he was ok, he said, "Fatherhood is so depressing". Um, wow! Totally caught me by surprise. So let me give the scenario of last night. Tired kids, grumpy kids, disobedient kids, bawling kids. And this father who just told me that fatherhood is depressing was so incredibly patient and calm with his kids that I was looking at him last night and thinking, "what a guy I married who is such a good daddy, his children adore him, and he works hard to be patient and loving to those kiddos". But I understand those feelings all too well. Parenting is tough stuff. Not for the faint of heart or for the weak. So when I read this article this morning, I thought....this is perfect! And so, I'm going to try to forget the times that I ignore my kids, or the times I don't reach out to others when I think they may need a little reaching to and in the back of my mind I think "I'll get to them later", or the times I blow up when my house looks like a bomb went off. I think I'll try to add those drops of awesome to my bowl instead. Like how I got up in plenty of time to have a nice breakfast with my kids this morning instead of rushing to get them dressed, fed, and out the door for school. Awesome. I watched my sisters two little kids all day yesterday. Awesome. I wrote to a friend of mine to let her know how much I love her and am grateful for her friendship. Awesome. I woke in the middle of the night to my sweet baby and fed him thankfully instead of begrudgingly because I adore him so much. Awesome. I made homemade bread and soup for my family last night. Awesome. I read books to my kids before bed last night despite their crankiness. Awesome. I read for 2, maybe 3 minutes from the scripture yesterday. Awesome. (could be better, but I'll take it for now). I squeezed my husband and let him know how much I love him and how grateful I am for him when he was feeling sad. Awesome.

And my sweet husband, who was having a moment last night, that I have way too often, is pretty awesome too. He left each of us a sweet note on the mirror this morning before he left for work.

There's always room for improving and we'll never be the perfect parents or have the perfect children. But we certainly are more motivated to be "awesome" when we focus on some of the awesome things we are doing, instead of wasting so much energy on the things we aren't.

No one told me

No one told me that watching Abigail dance would be the very cutest thing in the world!

No one told me that my kids imagination would be down right hilarious! (Here they are jumping into a pool where they are nearly drowing, all the while the theatrical performance was quite captivating and totally believable that I nearly jumped in after them. There was no water in the tub.)

No one told me that at 7 years old she would say "Wyatt has fallen in love with me, and I can't do anything about it."

No one told me that Scheels has the very coolest fish tank!

No one told me that Joe would be the happiest baby on earth despite his lack of a good nights, full sleep every.single.night.

No one told me that my heart would burst in a million different ways, sometimes with fear, sometimes with concern, sometimes with frustrations, and always with deep love for these little people I get to forever call mine.

Snowy Day

Today took me back to my childhood in so many ways. First of all, it snowed all day. We got at least a foot of snow just today. Crazy! That is so how it was when I was a child. I said, to heck with my no sugar bet and made chocolate chip cookies and homemade bread. It just had to be done. Plus, I was ornery all day. I do not know what my deal is lately. I really do not, but good golly miss molly, do not come near me or you may very well get your head bit off. Even sweet Abby said to me today, "wo, you're really mad". Yes deary, I was. Just do what I say and no one will get hurt. Or yelled at.

I don't like feeling the way I've been feeling lately. Maybe its just the winter time blues. Maybe its the monotonous duties of a mother, maybe its the sleep I'm getting or the lack thereof. Or maybe it's a combination of all three. Probably that one. Whatever it is, this funk is no fun for anyone. So I made up my mind to submerse myself into the Lord's good words to boost me up! Have you ever noticed though when you make a decision that inevitably will draw you closer to Christ, you lose all desire, or you're just too tired, or you have a million interruptions? It's kinda like making plans to attend the temple and then something just stops you from going. Yep, that's how it always seems to be. So, I've spent more time on my knees than usual and I have to think that Heavenly Father is pleased to hear from me more often than He usually does. I like to think He's saying to me, "Melissa, you're doing a good job. Keep going. You're children are learning wonderful things and I thank you for your effort to teach them of Me." I wonder too if He might say, "please don't be so hard on them. They are children and need your nurturing that I've blessed women with." Have you ever thought of the Family Proclamation and read the words, "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." Interesting don't you think that the Lord would choose the word "nurture" for us. I can think of a million words for mothers responsibilities, but nurture is really all encompassing don't you think? Anyway, I digress. I'm studying (or attempting to study) the characters of Christ. If I want to be like Him and teach my children of Him, I really need to know how and who He was. I know His stories from the scriptures, but there is so much more to learn of Him than just His stories.  And today I could have really used understanding His patience with this particular child.

Oh how I love him, but oh how he tries me some days. 

A little about me.

So there's this silly little game going around Instagram lately where you get tagged and then you get to tell 5 things about yourself that others may not know about you. Because some of these were a surprise to even Aaron, I thought I'd write them for my posterity....with the explanations which I didn't give on Instagram.

1) I was on the Seminary Council my senior year of high school. I had to laugh because Aaron didn't know this and didn't know what it was either. I told him it was kinda like student council, but for the church and you don't run for it, you're called to it. Anyway, it was a total blast and I learned so much and made great friends.
2) I was proposed to 5 times, but engaged only once. Yep, totally true and totally a shocker I know! However, they weren't all with rings (thank goodness). The first one was when I was 19. We had only been dating for two weeks at Ricks College. He was a great guy, but SUPER anxious to get married and scared the living day lights out of me! When he told me his intentions were marriage with me, I gave him the hiatus and wished him luck. Left him crying in his car. Wow! The second was to a guy I was great friends with for a long time first. When I finally figured out that I really did care a great deal for him, I had already decided to serve a mission. He was determined to wait for me. He did give me a ring, but more of a promise ring. We wrote each other most of my mission until I got cold feet, all the way in Holland! I wrote him off but it ended  officially when I got home. It was a true heart break for us both. The third I didn't see coming at all! When I got home from my mission, I received flowers and a nice gift from a guy I shared the gospel with on my mission. I never once thought he had feelings for me. He wrote me a letter saying that he had received an answer in the temple that I was to marry him. Um, hello? This one really made me sad because he was a new convert, his testimony still fragile, but he took the decline well and I've always hoped he's remained true to the faith. We never talked again. The fourth guy was another good friend. I met him before my mission where we worked together on a night crew at the Home Depot. He was a Mormon, but not active. He was a great friend and we had lots of fun together. When I got home from my mission our friendship continued until he too let me know his feelings for me and that his intentions were also of marriage. He was not worthy to marry in the temple and I was not willing to compromise that most important choice for me. We went our separate ways. Then the 5th and final proposal was to the man worth waiting for! He was all that the others were and so much more! He was the complete package I was looking for. That's why the next thing will not come as such a shock!
3) After mine and Aaron's second date we were engaged and married 6 weeks later! (Why wait when you've found Mr. Right?)
4) I've competed in two triathlons. Both kicked my rear end!
5) I have an irrational fear of the ocean.

Kinda fun. Kinda dumb. But there it is nonetheless.

Perspective

Yesterday I was failing...today I have perspective. I'm emotional, most likely due to my cycle, but lets chock it up to gratitude instead. During our little family devotional in the morning yesterday I read the scripture out of the Book of Mormon in 2 Nephi 1:20 that says, "And he hath said that: Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land; but inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from my presence."

We discussed this scripture and how it might apply to us. We talked about the importance of making good choices such as, choosing to be kind, to share, to be obedient to mom & dad, etc. Then we talked about how when we do those things we are choosing to follow Jesus and we feel happy and we will be able to live with him again someday. But when we don't do those things, but do the opposite of those things, then we are not following Jesus and we aren't as happy. All day they really tried hard to choose the right. It was so darling to see them stop in their tracks when they were about to lash out at each other and quickly find a softer/nicer way to talk. They weren't perfect, (who is?) but they were trying and I was so happy that things seemed to click for them. After all, isn't that what life is all about? Try and try again? Today, they are still trying to follow their ways of yesterday. So maybe, just maybe I'm not failing after all. And maybe, I'm learning as well.

His newest trick. He arches his back and looks way back.

Serving their daddy: rubbing his feet and head, tickling his back and arms and legs. I think he might have fallen asleep.

Failing

I'm failing. Motherhood is giving me a good kick in the rear end right now. And not just motherhood, but my ability to do good is failing. Ugh. Discouragement is taking a deep hold on my heart lately. I had one day this past week that I couldn't have a positive thought to save my life! "Ah! are those boogers on the wall"? Scream! Scream! Scream! After days, maybe even weeks, of 3 of my children having no potty accidents, I now have a laundry room, yet again, of poopy underwear and it's enough to push me right over the edge! Aaron and I have pleaded, threatened, and begged the kids to sit like normal people on our couch. Today, Hannah chose not to follow that severe council and flipped her legs up and knocked the lamp on the floor, ending in the result of millions of tiny shards of glass everywhere.

I can't find time to serve those around me like I would like to. I can barely scrape enough time to read and study out of the scriptures. I find myself longing for some peace and quiet, or maybe even a good hardy cry, or at the very least a GIANT bowl of ice cream, but even there I am denied because of a stupid no sugar bet until April.

And to top it all off, after knowing, with complete assurity that I should home school my kids in the fall, I had a doozy of a day where all I could think of was, "I've completely LOST my mind!" "There is no way in the world I can do this and do a good job". "I'm going to ruin their life by doing this". "They are going to turn out weird, or maybe even  looked down upon by their peers in our own neighborhood." And on and on and on it went.

I often will joke by saying, "Satan is SUCH a weenie". All joking aside, he is much much more than that. He is real. Very real. And I know that the week I've had of discouragement was nothing more than the father of all lies aiming to thwart my mission, which I know to be the most important and sacred of any on the earth. It would be so easy to give in to his lies. To believe that I'm not capable of raising my children to greatness. That I will ruin them by teaching them myself. That someone else could do a much better job teaching them than I ever could. Oh believe me, I've actually wanted to believe it and don't deny that I may still have many days ahead where I may in fact believe it. But then, just when I felt the most discouraged I just "happened" upon this article. Read it. Study it. Soak it in. Almost instantly those feelings of doubt were gone. I knew, once again that I'm not in this alone. Someone much more powerful than Satan ever will be, wants me to succeed, and with Him, I will.